Did you know this year marks the 250th anniversary of the Sandwich? No, not the civil parish on the River Stour in the non-metropolitan district of Dover, England, silly. The thing with meat and cheese wedged between slices of bread. In 1762, some guy (I think his name was Earl or something) was playing cards and was tired of making such a mess eating roast beef cold-cuts dipped in mustard. After having so much trouble and looking obviously frustrated, he gave a resigned look to the camera as the infomercial announcer went on to introduce Sliced Bread for only eight easy payments of $29.99 and call now for your absolutely free Amaz-O knife for spreading sauces. Welp, the rest is history and after Earl, who was probably rich, asked the maid to clean his hands with money by using the slang term ‘bread,’ she mistakenly got him some actual bread and it fell on this meat and condiments. He exclaimed, “You got bread on my fixin’s!” at the same time that she exclaimed “You got fixin’s on my bread!” and they both laughed until freeze frame and credits. Flash forward two and a half centuries, and now Sandwiches are spelled sammiches by stupid people.