The Fall is upon us, like a big orange pancho that smells of nutmeg and seasonal affective disorder. But there is one thing we can do to make the best of this cool (and by ‘cool,’ I mean Cool) time of the year. That’s right, I’m talkin’ ’bout Cereal Reviews.

Today, let’s look at this spo(oooooooooo)oky new product from Cap’n Crunch. I’ve never been so terrified by a breakfast food in all my years. Well, that’s not true. But Halloween Crunch is up there, like top 12 or something. Whatever, it’s scary, okay? Look, it’s got eyes in the ‘O,’ for cryin’ out loud! And don’t even get me started on the jack-o-lanterns leering at me from the deep shadows near the edges. Nightmare Fuel!

So anyway, this cereal is infested with ghosts, apparently. They’re pretty festive little guys, to be honest. Not your usual sheet-white, transparent dudes, but instead bright orange with specks of green and the texture of  a fried jalapeno pepper.


One thing I didn’t know until now, is that ghosts turn milk green. Was I the last to know this? I kind of figured milk and ghosts were mostly neutral to one another, but I suppose I can throw that theory out the window. I guess it’s the ectoplasma or spectral-fluid or whatever that they’re leaving behind? Well, what ever it is… It’s tasty! Kinda reminds me of strawberries.

Ghost juice tastes like strawberries. Yup.

If you’re a fan of Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries, but really thought it could’ve used some slime-colored liquid in the mix, and also don’t mind the thought of eating sugar-encrusted souls for breakfast, I’d say Halloween Crunch is the cereal for you. It makes a great addition to the Cap’n’s ever-growing fleet of cereals, and I have a feeling it’s sales are going to peak right around May. This stuff makes a great springtime snack and I can imagine it as the centerpiece for many a fine picnic.

I give it a BoOoOoOoOo out of a possible BoOoOoOoOoOoOo.

Also, did you know that ghosts and spirits are 90 percent water? It’s crazy, but true!